i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
