So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize