I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
