lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
