Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
