i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
