Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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