all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
