There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
