He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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