what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
