I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize