Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
