tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The air was thick with penises
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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