If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
