You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
