I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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