Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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