I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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