I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize