why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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