Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
