So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
