why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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