when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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