You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
