i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry about my life...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
