Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize