I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
