saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize