Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
