At least make sure they are 18
Why
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
