We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There r osticjed everywhere
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
