I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
