I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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