Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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