I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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