Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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