dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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