i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
