Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
