the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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