Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
