Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
