I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize