Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
