My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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