You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
