Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
