The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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