walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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