I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize