You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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