people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
