I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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