Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
