I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wanna go halves on a baby?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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