you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Did I show you my penis last night?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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